Borderline Personality Disorder

Question: My friend cuts herself, Can someone you tell me more about this borderline personality disorder? I have bipolar disorder. A friend of mine has borderline personality disorder and she cuts herself. Can someone you tell me more about this borderline disorder? Do you know anyone who does this?

Answer: I know someone who does it & I do it but I've found that when you wear a rubberband on your wrists and snap it whenever you feel like cutting it REALLY helps. I do it alot & it reduces the cutting but does not stop it. The only reason people do it is because they have alot going on in their life and they feel like it's the only pain they can control. If you need more info e-mail free_help2@yahoo.com or help_chitchat@yahoo.com they help people with lots of problems

Question: Why are Borderline Personality Disorder people so good at making people become infatuated with them? People with Borderline Personality Disorder seem to have a talent for making people very quickly become infatuated/obsessed with the Borderline (I won't use the word love). How is it that they have this "talent"?

Answer: There are different types of behavior with BPD. There are those who predominently act out (raging) and those who act in (cutting) and there is a continuum with sufferers somewhere on a spectrum - low functioning (prone to drug use and poor societal function, crime, and hospitalization) and high functioning (can hold down a job and "appear" normal to people not close - like family - to the BPD.) Higher functioning BPDs almost universally deny that they have a problem. My opinion of higher functioning BPDs who predominently act out is that they lack a conscience and are self absorbed. If a BPD is higher functioning and intelligent, they often have the ability to "read people" pretty well. They can also be extremely adept at manipulation. It's very easy to not understand the manipulation, especially when everyone else around (i.e. not family) seems to think well of the BPD. The manipulation and the lack of insight from others can make the non-BPD doubt their own instincts. At the core of all BPD behavior is fear of abandonment and great difficulty dealing with their feelings. CONTROL is at the core of effective, manipulative BPDs. It's a sick game, but it gets played by many women. BPD is the most prevalent personality disorder and yet most people have never hear of it. Statistics show that just about everyone interacts with a BPD at work or school and is completely oblivious.

Question: How do people with borderline personality disorder generally function as parents? If a parent has borderline personality disorder and does everything in their power to keep stable and their symptoms under control and provide a loving, supportive atmosphere for the child to grow up. Is it possible that the child would actually be able to then side step the borderline diagnoses, and be unaffected by their parents disorder? Also how do people with borderline personality disorder generally function as parents?

Answer: I have BPD and my daughter is 3. I am working very hard to make sure my symtoms are under control. When I have a bad day I make sure I don't show it in front of her. She is my main priority and I feel really blessed. I think the main thing is for the parent to understand that a child needs a calm, peaceful, and loving environment. I recently start a forum for individuals with BPD. http://bpdsafehaven.org

Question: Borderline Personality Disorder: What are the positive and the negative factors? I am working on a paper for class. I need to describe the symptoms of Borderline and Histrionic Personality Disorder according to whether they have positive or negative predictive power for diagnosis. How do I divide symptoms that way?

Answer: As a BPD sufferer I would kind of like to help you, but your question leaves me a little baffled........

Question: what's the difference between borderline personality disorder and depression? I really don't know, but it seems that people with borderline personality disorder are often misdiagnoised initially with depression. Maybe I am wrong though, maybe if you have borderline personality disorder then depression is a part of it????

Answer: Simple depression is much more common than Borderline Personality Disorder. The patient may not exhibit all the signs of BPD when the clinician first sees him or her. BPD is much more complex with extreme fear of abandonment, volatile relationships alternating between idealization and disdain, identity crises and impulsive behavior in addition to mood swings.

Question: Why does a person with Borderline Personality Disorder cause someone to say hurtfull things? Everybody in the world knows that my Girlfriend has Borderline Personality Disorder. Why does she say the most hurtful things? Then she turns around and is the sweetest. How can someone change that drastic and suddenly?

Answer: She needs a lot of compassion and to know that she is special. If you are in a love relationship with a person who has BPD do not treat her like any other girl, she has a feeling of a huge void in her life which only understanding and reassurance can begin to fill. She should try a support group to meet others who can understand her and support her. You could buy her a book on this disorder and offer to read with her about it, to know that others care, would really touch her deeply. These people need more love than they are ever willing to admit to themselves.

Question: How can I handle the borderline personality disorder? My girlfriend has BPD and we seperate during t? How can I handle the borderline personality disorder? My girlfriend has BPD and we seperate during this time. Is there anything i can do to help her get her right mind back. She doesn't love me, doesn't want me and then she comes back around. She wants me and loves me again. Any tips or suggestions on how to handle this situation. I love her enough I want to help.

Answer: Dude, save yourself the headache.

Question: Why is it said that borderline personality disorder is the equivalent of sociopathy in females? Sociopaths are not supposed to have a conscience/ feel no remorse for their actions. However people with borderline personality disorder often suffer from an extremely low self-esteem. They often feel that they are unworthy and are inherently bad (especially since they see things in black/white). This seems markedly different from sociopathy where it seems unlikely that the sociopath would feel that he is an unworthy person. So my question is why do people say that bpd is the female version of a sociopath?

Answer: BPD (I have it) is NOT like being a sociopath. I, deep down, know what I'm doing is wrong, but I cannot control it. I can't stop myself from manipulating someone. Once I get something in my head, it takes LOTS of WILL POWER (which I usually don't have) to stop myself. This IS- especially if I'm trying to get someone to love me. Most people with BPD are highly intelligent, but they cannot control their impulses, SO it can be "fun" (sarcastically) to be in a relationship with us/me! Haha. Um, back to the topic... It shouldn't be said that BPD is the female version of sociopathy... (not feeling remorse for harmful actions). We DO feel remorse, but only AFTER we've hurt someone and they reject us. ACTUALLY, I don't usually feel bad for what I've done in the heat of the moment. Remorse takes place weeks or months later for me. Very confusing topic!

Question: What is it like to have a borderline personality disorder? What is it like to have a borderline personality disorder? How do they act and behave? I'm curious to know because I met this girl who I kinda like, but she told me she is bipolar and borderline. Can anyone enlighten me here?

Answer: Mark- If you've never done anything else for yourself, do this....get as far away as you can. Borderline is a disorder which will pull you into the whirlpool, completely mangle you and spit you back out. You would'nt put your head into a tree chipper, would you? That's precisely what this is. Jess has the disorder, and even she is telling you to run as fast and as far as you can. Simone said: "It does not mean that people with borderline personality traits are doomed to have poor relationships". she is absolutely wrong about that, they are doomed to have horrible relationships. This is a disorder which affects the people intimate with the "sufferer" more than the one with the disease. Treat her as you would a coiled rattlesnake, because that is precisely the situation. I know, been there, done that. I'll never be the same. Want some firsthand accounts? Go check some of the posts at the yahoo group "WelcomeToOz"

Question: How to spot a girl with borderline personality disorder? I'm dating alot of girls now and some girls I just find overly emotional and fiery. I want to know if they have anything wrong with them. A friend of mine mentioned some girls as having "borderline personality disorder". I would like to know what are some characteristics these girls display? Tell me some stories if you ever had an experience with them?

Answer: Women are emotional creatures. As opposed to men who are logical (or so it's said). Yes, some have personality disorders, and even more create them to have an excuse for their behavior. But men are the same way. All in all, you just need to find a girl thats right for you. And...so what if they have a personality disorder? If they're not able to manage it with meds or therapy then why even be around them. People in general who are out of control are no fun.

Question: Do you have to be suicidal to have borderline personality disorder? I match with almost all of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder (abandonment issues, impulsiveness, extreme moods, bad temper, black/white relationships, etc.) except that I don't cut myself. I sometimes will have suicidal thoughts but never get close to actually doing it. Does everyone have to hurt themselves in order to have BPD? I have been speaking with a therapist for about a month or so and she has said she thinks I have obsessive compulsive disorder, and lots of anxiety, etc. and hasn't mentioned BPD, but through my research online it seems like I have tendencies towards those, but actual Borderline Disorder. Any info or opinions would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you.

Answer: I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I also do not cut myself. I sometimes feel suicidal if I am under a lot of stress, but never to the point of actually making plans on how I am going to carry it out. I have also had some confusion/ disagreement with regards to my diagnosis. I have been told by my current therapist that I am BPD, but when I went for a second opinion was told that it was more anxiety and OCD and not BPD. I have almost given up trying to sort out what the diagnosis is and am trying to concentrate more on the symptoms. i.e. medication and cognitive-behaviour therapy for the OCD and anxiety and psychodynamic psychotherapy for the relationship issues/ BPD type symptoms. It might be worthwhile to look at what is concerning you the most in terms of your symptoms and work on them without being too concerned with an overall diagnosis. The diagnosis is just a way for psychiatrists to categorise people into different groups as a way to sort out what the most appropriate treatment is. You might also find that there is a significant cross-over in treatment approaches for a few different diagnoses anyway.

Question: How do you handle a person with borderline personality disorder? How do you handle a girlfriend that has borderline personality disorder? She loves me then she hates me. I know her love is real, because she always comes around to the normal. I'm getting to where I don't wanna go back, because I know it won't stay sweet. It's hard to let go when you know its the disorder causing the problems. What to do? Getting depressed over it all.

Answer: this sort of person is a challenege to become involved with depending on your point of view, you can take a variety of approaches. one tactic that works is to leave the relationship in her hands for a while. this will claify her feelings for you and the source of sweetness. you will likely find that the reasons for the borderline behavior are rooted in some problem internal to her feeling for you. this may be hard to accept, but as it becomes clear, you can adjust your feelings to better match her personality. for example, the answer from jamesb_ridge below demonstrates a classic manipulator. leave the relationship in this person's hands, and it will become clear very quickly how careless she is with her relationships another tactic is to take more control and be a helper rather than a passenger. instances when she is sweet should be savored by both of you, and you should certainly try to amplify them. when she cools or becomes hostile, don't return the hostility, chances are she is not recognizing it like you are - remember: her eyes only point outward and you have to gently bring her behavior to light and help her to see how she might appear to others. again, using the james b_ridge answer as a manifestation, the coldness can be shunted or ignored as appropriate another possibility is to bond with other friends of hers, and to be particularly social when she goes into the dark side. sometimes a number of different personalities makes maintenance of the hostility difficult and it becomes easier to be friendly if two other friendly persons are nearby. finally, if we again use the james b_ridge response as a template for the dysfunction, your judgement about the responses or presonality in the dark side will be validated or modified by the other friend with the two of you, since the third party can modulate the interaction of the first two. <who's the nut?, who's the squirrel?>

Question: Is it possible for a person with Borderline Personality Disorder to have a functioning relationship? I have recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I find it hard to stay in a relationship for very long as I have severe abandonment issues which cause me to be very clingy. It becomes a sort of 'I hate you but please don't leave me' relationship. I have a new boyfriend and I like him a lot but I'm scared I'm going to lose him. I was wondering if anyone who has BPD or knows of someone with BPD that has had a functioning relationship? I am under the care of a health professional and I will be starting Dialectical Behavioural Therapy in the New Year

Answer: It depends. There are many variations of BPD. The fact that you accept you have BPD makes it highly more likely that you can work your way to a functional and consistent relationship, but it will take therapy, and a very understanding partner. I was in a nearly 9 year marriage with a severe BPD, who had issues with abandonment, trust, self-esteem, etc., but the big barrier was that she did not accept that there was anything wrong with her. That's why BPDs are so hard to treat, because their self-esteem is often so low that they can't accept there's a problem with them, because that's an attack on what little self-esteem they have left. As I said, the fact that you acknowledge you have issues that could be a problem puts you way ahead of the pack. Everyone has issues of some kind, but BPD issues usually keep BPDs from accepting help. So, yes, if you are willing to work on it, you can get there. Hope for the best and keep trying.

Question: What are some good therapy techniques for bipolar and borderline personality disorder? I am a combination of bipolar and borderline personality disorder, and I am just looking for other ways to help me cope, other than journaling. Because I journal all the time.

Answer: Dialectic Behavior Therapy was designed specifically for Borderline but is also good for Bipolar.

Question: does anyone has borderline personality disorder and how do you manage it? Hi! Any experiences about borderline personality disorder would be appreciated - do you have it, how do you know you have it and how do you cope with it?

Answer: I have no experience. However an article I read sometimes back, I am reproducing for ur information "Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment Overcoming borderline personality disorder is very challenging. With treatment and support though, many people are able to return to work and resume their normal lives. However, treatment for borderline personality disorders tends to be ongoing. Many people with the illness require lifetime support. Psychotherapy Psychotherapy is the treatment of choice when it comes to borderline personality disorder. Most psychotherapy is performed in a group setting that is highly structured. Many people who suffer from the illness have difficulty working in non-structured environments and may act out if they are not presented with more rigid guidelines for behavior. Linehan's Dialectal Behavior Therapy was designed specifically to treat borderline personality disorder and is the most successful type of psychotherapy to date. This technique teaches people with the illness how to take control of their lives, learn about themselves, and regulate their emotions. Hospitalization Hospitalization is generally discouraged with borderline personality disorder. It is important to encourage people with the disorder to learn to survive on their own and in the community, and this cannot be done in a hospital setting. However, for those at risk for self-harm, hospitalization may be recommended for a short period. Day treatment or partial hospitalization may be a better choice for many sufferers as it offers them a safe place to stay during the day, but also requires them to function on their own in the evenings. Medication Medications, especially when combined with psychotherapy, are often quite helpful in reducing the symptoms of borderline personality disorder. There are numerous borderline personality disorder medications available. Antidepressants help to relieve depression and anxiety in patients. SSRIs, like Celexa, Prozac, and Zoloft, are commonly prescribed. Anti-psychotics are also helpful in reducing mood swings, mania, and episodes of self-harm. New atypical anti-psychotics are now being prescribed and include Zyprexa, Risperdal, Seroquel, Clozaril, and Abilify. Anticonvulsants like Depakote, Topamax, and Lamictal can also help to reduce mood swings. If you have borderline personality disorder, talk with your doctor about all your treatment options. With hard work, the symptoms of borderline personality disorder can be brought under control. "

Question: Why do most people with Borderline Personality Disorder cut themselves? Why do most people with Borderline Personality Disorder cut themselves? Is this disorder like a really deep dark depression? What causes people to develop this disorder? Also, why do people with this disorder push people away who they get close to?

Answer: I think cutting is done because it releases the neurotransmitter Endorphin (a natural pain killer). It makes the person temporarily feel better. BPD seems to be a disturbance of self image and the exact cause is unknown. It may be caused by events in the person's childhood, heredity, or a combination of both. It can include mood swings and transient psychosis. I worked in mental health since 1987; we had a lot of people who had this diagnosis. The one I remember the most was a young girl who cut herself so many times her body was covered wtih scars. She said she cut herself because "it's the only time I really feel alive." She was sexually abused as child. A psychiatrist told me once that he thought BPD was a variation of Bipolar Disorder and it was not really a personality disorder. This was apparently just an opinion and was not shared by all psychiatrists. BPD has a combination of many symptoms and not everyone diagnosed will necessarily have all the same same symptoms. But one of the main symptoms is having erratic relationships with other people; loving someone to the point of idealizations and then suddenly switching to hating the same person with a passion. There is also a persistent fear of being abandoned by their loved and friends. There may be other symptoms like mood swings, transient psychosis, cutting, and impulsive/self destructive behavior like binge eating, drug abuse, promisicuous sexual behavior, etc. There may also be a tendency to manipulate other people and to constantly seek attention in negative ways.