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Social Phobia

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Question: Social........phobia?????????? Ok,so here is my story... I've been in a long rush trough my life ,it all begun at the age of 14 when i had severe depression treated with antidepressants.I was very very anxious&stressed&co. later i became socialy isolated and very shy, i think it's because my dopamine was depleted in that strong depression (full 3 months of panic attacks + more) I had some other problems that induced my social phobia ,I had severe acne & scars wich made me impossible to talk/look/carry a conversation with people,i was extremly stressed 2 years like passing out every day with my mouth dry. However my acne was treated and i have no longer scars,the fact is that all my past friends are gone and I became isolated,there is one major problem in all this bullshit. THE PROBLEM IS THAT I HAVE EXTREME ANXIETY AT MEETINGS,after I meet someone that i know i can carry a conversation but I just cant meet that person so i just keep runing from them ,i can't look in their eyes i preffer ignoring my old friends...what's wrong with me ? i find it impossible to meet someone just like say ''HI,HOW ARE YOU'' im always feeling heartbeat and my blood running like a train when I see the person girl or boy.But if i can do a good salute everything goes well,it's just i fear to met them,what the heck is this ???? anyway it's very strange that im not anxious with unknown persons,just with girls when it comes to meet them.But i'm terrified of my old friends,maybe it's linked to my past or something?And even if I meet a new person and after some weeks I meet him again i'm terrified of the meeting (shaking hands,saying hello,etc) but as I afraid of meetings. someone experienced this ? is it normal ?

Answer: View the information and weblinks for social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 9, and 38, at Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior. Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit. Try this for a month, in every situation you can. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave. People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot". But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy). It will teach you that, although it isn't actually pleasant, you will survive; be stronger for the experience, and the next time (should you need to repeat this type of therapy) will be considerably easier. Remember: "A fear avoided is a fear strengthened; a fear faced is a fear reduced." Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me". Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind. Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger. Although there are anti-anxiety medications (anxiolytics) available, these come with risks, and the possibility of side effects, habituation, even addiction, and withdrawal problems, and are unsuitable for young people. Try having a cup of "Tension Tamer", herbal tea, by Celestial Seasonings, (from supermarket tea, or health food aisles) or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed (I find it so strong tasting, that I need to drink it quickly, followed by something like fruit juice, to take away the taste, but others may find it more tolerable). C(h)amomile tea is a more palatable option. As with all herbal/green teas, use lemon/lime, and/or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk. Panic: see section 8. Anxiety: section 6: view page N first. Look people on the top of the bridge of the nose, instead of the eyes. You could try "shaping" to salute, but if civilians are involved, change it to scratching your forehead, as a substitute.

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