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Anxiety Disorder

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Question: anxiety disorder? does anyone suffer from some type of anxiety disorder? how do you deal with it?

Answer: It took me 8 years(!) after I identified my problem to change it. And it was a hard transition. I had been dealing with it since the age of 10, I realized it was depression and anxiety at the age of 14, I realized what to finally do about it at age 21. I'm almost 25 now, and I can say I've been comfortable with my life for only about 2 years. It depends on the person, really- how bad you want to change, and how much you beleive that you have the power to. Now you have to understand that the process I went through didn't provide immediate freedom and results from my problems. It took time to accept what I had to do, and then more time to reprogram my brain into thinking this way, after living a life of anxiety and depression for so long. It is the answers that sound simple, but it is the process that you heve to be patient with. Just don't give up! I don't want anyone to take as long as I did to get over this. It is a horrible way to live. In the beginning, I started taking anti-depressants and anti- anxiety meds. But they majorly screwed with my head. One of them( I can't remember the name- I took Paxil, Xanex, Celexa, and one other I can't remember.) messed me up so much I had trouble walking in a straight line. I feared that my boss was going to give me a drug test-because I appeared drugged or drunk-one of the two. I got off the meds, and my problems were still there. That's when I realized that these problems were in ME. Medicine couldn't help me, only I could. Then I tried to turn to religion to find joy. I began to tell myself that this is just how God created me, and it was for some greater purpose.I tried to be happy with this-but it was only surface happiness. I was just accepting that depression and anxiety was just who I was, but deep down I still hated myself. It didn't feel right. Why would God make me suffer this way?It wasn't until I was 21 that I realized that I was this way because I was choosing to be.That was the hardest thing to overcome, because I didn't want to blame myself. I wanted to blame my parents, God, the kids in school, anyone. If I was to blame, then I would have to be the one to make a change, and I was scared to. But overtime I did accept it. I was to blame. No one is making me this way but myself. Yeah- I was never good enough for my parents, yeah the kids in school made fun of me- but I didn't have to let them control my life anymore. I wanted to be in control. I started moving toward the things that brought me joy. If it brought me joy- I accepted it. If it didn't, I turned away from it. Slowly I began to find who I was again. I found the things I enjoyed doing again. I learned that I can't please everyone, so I stopped trying to, and I learned to please myself again, and in the process I've made others very happy as well. The root cause of anxiety is really just nitpicking things to death, and overanalyzing things. I used to think that everytime someone was laughing, they were laughing at me. Or everytime I overheard the word "stupid" in a conversation, that they were talking about me. I walked with my head down constantly.I couldn't function in social situations, even around relatives, I would freeze up, because I felt that everyone was judging me. I stayed holed up in my room all day. You need to rid yourself of the fear of worrying what others think about you. Then you need to work on finding your true self again. First of all, rid yourself of caring what others may think about you. This doesn't matter. If you lose your friends, you will make more who are more like minded with you. If you are ridiculed, lets face it, there are always going to be people who disagree with your choices. Even if we changed ourself to please THEM, there would be others who disagree with THOSE choices. It's a never ending battle trying to get everyone to agree with the way you are, because everyone is different, and it simply is not possible. Think about what makes YOU happy, not others. It is YOUR life, and you are the one who will be dealing with all the choices you make, not them. In the end, their opinions do not matter.So get rid of the fear of being ridiculed. If you fear failure, remember that you will always be a failure if you do not even make an attempt. It is better to give something your all, and be 2nd best, than to not try at all, and be left with nothing, not even the experience. In the end it is the experiences of it that you will remember, and be proud of. Next, after you rid yourself of your fears, you need to start to remember the true you. To do this, you simply pay attention to those little tugs you feel, and go with them. You may not know where it is leading you, but to ignore them, you will be missing out on a great number of opportunities and experiences. When you feel the tug, you are either being pulled toward something that will bring you ultimate joy, or you are being pulled away from something that will not bring you joy. Listen to yourself. Your true self already knows who it is. It is always trying to get us to remember. Its the outside influences that make us forget. Ignore the outside influences, and begin to listen to yourself. You will begin to discover a whole new side of you that you never knew existed. And you will be truly happy, because you will be truly yourself. I still have my off days. I cry sometimes- I still beleive in letting out your emotions rather than bottling them in, I get angry sometimes, but I always get snapped back into reality when I remember that I am in control- me and only me. I don't have to do this. I don't have to be this way. I can be happy. I don't know if your experience is the same as mine, but from what I went through, I found that this is the only way to truly rid yourself of anxiety, and depression as well. Sorry so long, I just identify with you alot. Contact me any time if needed.Just remember that the power to do this is inside of you and you alone. Don't depend on others. They can definitely support you, but ultimately, it is up to you. And definitely don't depend on medication. It doesn't fix the problem, it only hides it. Good luck!


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